Concerning the pronunciation of common words

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We have at least 3 or 4 different accents spoken at InHome- English, East Coast and Michigan, with the occasional straggler in and out. Deciphering conversations has become an art form here. Anna has a thick English accent that draws out vowel sounds and makes them 4 times longer than necessary. Jeff, Whitney and Lindsey all have very thick East Coast accents and I have a thick, nasally Michigan accent which causes words to be run together. Lynn is the common denominator, as she is mostly accent-free.

You could probably craft a Rosetta stone out of us here, and maybe that’s something we should look into. Conversations around here go like this:

Me: Anna, were we going to halve the strawberry boxes?

Anna: Have?

Me: No, HALLLLLLVVVVE.

Anna: Have them? Of course we have them!

Me: No, half! Half! (I started to panic at this point, making frenetic chopping motions with my hands to make my point, wondering if this is how civilizations must have communicated before any manner of common tongue was instituted.)

Anna: Oh, HALVVVVVE. Cut in “hahf”. No, not those.

 

We survived the strawberry box incident, and were keeping our heads above water with conversation until this week, when we realized we would need to discuss a dresser.

Anna: We need to bring the caaaaawcass upstairs to wax.

Me: The what?

Anna: The caaaaaawcass, the part you put the drawers in.

Me: The what?

Whitney: You know, the cahcass. For the draws.

Me: CARcass? Are we saying CARCAAAAAASS?

Jeff, from the next room: Your accent could *literally* shatter glass. (and he tutted at me!)

I’m 98% certain Anna uses her English accent to give authority to her vocab words, stories and facts, and I think she thickens her accent when she’s embellishing. But that’s another story for another day.

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